The Guilt of Poverty

The wealth distribution here in Cape Town is pretty overwhelming.  The majority of our time here we are staying a very white and wealthy neighborhood.  We call the house I'm staying in Mini Man, short for Mini Mansion, because the house is so nice.  Last week however was spent in Gugulethu, an extremely large township where many black South African people live.  We lived among the Gugulethu community for a few days, yet quickly returned to the American equivalent of White Suburbia.  This unequal distribution of wealth is something I struggled with very frequently in Kenya, and I continue to struggle with it now.  I've been asked for money a number times, even by children, and I frequently deny them generosity.  While many justify this act by saying that giving a kid your pocket change won't actually make a difference, I'm weighed down by the guilt of the reality.  The reality of the situation is that I'll refuse the equivalent of 50 cents to a hungry child while at the same time drop $150 without thinking to go shark diving, something that is totally not needed and simply for my own personal pleasure.  What makes this reality even worse is that I'm not willing to give up things like shark diving, sky diving, rafting the Nile, rock climbing,Wine Tasting,shopping (oh my God, making this list almost makes me sick to my stomach).  I'm disgusted with the amount of access we all live with when others can't even feed themselves.  I'm disgusted with myself for not giving up some of those excursions and using that money to feed more kids while I'm here and it's embarrassing posting this reality about myself for the world to see.   

  In Kevin Winge's book, Never Give Up, he discusses the guilt he continuously feels when working in South African townships and then returning home to luxuries and riches.  But then he says something extremely important.  He explains that it is useless to spend time focusing on guilt.  It is an inevitable feeling that will never go away, but it is unproductive and a waste of time to dwell on it.  Rather you need to just act and do something...Kevin Winge started a non-profit supporting HIV/AIDs patients, I went shark diving.