Heading Home...

...Five months ago at this time I was sitting in an airport excitingly awaiting my arrival into a new world.  A world that unbeknownst to me at the time would challenge me in ways that I had never been challenged, motivate me to do the unexpected, and clarify my life in a way that gives me purpose.  And now, after a countless number of laughs, tears, and adventures, I have to say goodbye to the most influential thing in my life.

I've been asked so many times if I'm ready to go home.  And although I'm of course ready to see my friends and family, spend the summer weekends at my cabin, and hopefully get taught how to play guitar for real by my little brother, for the first time in my life, I'm scared to go home.  I want to think that I'm forever changed from my experiences abroad.  And it's not that change that scares me.  I'm terrified of going home and falling right back into the same life that I was living 5 months ago.  Of discovering that maybe the past few months didn't influence me as much as I had hoped.  Of losing everything that I have learned here and NOT making significant changes in my life back home.

I really don't know how else to explain how I'm feeling or how to make others understand what I'm going through.  I know that there is no one else that will ever fully understand my experiences, and I've truly become ok with that.  I need to have faith in myself and trust that I can make it through any challenges that home might bring.

...Two hours before I head off to the airport...didn't time go fast.